Sometimes...

My top emcees in the last 5 years are Crooked I, Royce Da 5'9", Ab-Soul & Sha Stimuli.

Everytime I hear a Crooked I verse, my response is always the same, "Crook is a beast!" He literally destroys every collabo that he is on. I can remember a Bishop Lamont track where he had a who's who posse cut from the West Coast and at the end he remarks "you n*ggaz are lucky I didn't get Crooked on this track!" The guy is a monster.

Ever since I heard Royce on "Scary Movies" & "Nuttin' To Do" he intrigued me. To some Eminem destroyed him. To me? He held his own. The only rapper to feature on Eminem's debut album, his debut album was ok, he had label and personal issues and for me his albums were good but you could tell the talent was there, but like a fine wine, he gets better with age! The new "PRhyme" album is superb and is something I constantly listen to.

Kendrick Lamar will take the plaudits, but for me, Ab-Soul is my personal favourite in TDE and I must admit I caught on to him very late. "Control System" to me was amazing and went backwards in his catalogue to listen to his other albums. To me, he is definitely underrated and one of the top 5 emcees in this moment in time. "These Days,,," is one of my top 5 albums of this year and his battle with Daylyt on the hidden track showed his diversity and was easily one of the best tracks I have heard this year!

Sha Stimuli is another emcee I caught on to very late. He had released various mixtapes until his official debut album "My Soul To Keep" which is what captivated me to listen to this emcee from Brooklyn. A couple of years ago he released the Rent Tape Series where he would release a mixtape every month about a certain topic. I would listen to them, let his rhymes marinate in my head and eagerly anticipate his next release.
For me, he doesn't get the shine his talent truly deserves and for me he is definitely a better emcee than your mainstream Rick Ross or your 2 Chainz.

When I was in the darkness and battling certain demons, there was a Sha Stimuli track that I would listen to nearly every day which captured my persona back then personally.

"Sometimes I rhyme slow, sometimes I rhyme quick
Sometime I love rhyming, sometimes it gets me sick
Sometimes I wanna skip the struggle and just be rich
Win the lottery or something or move a couple of bricks but shit
Sometimes I think about jail, when I get letters from my dog in the mail
Sometimes I feel like I failed, because I'm eating, gaining weight
But my dude next to me is starving, staring at my plate
Sometimes I wanna reach 'em, sometimes I wanna teach 'em
Tell the kids stay in school, study hard, live decent
But I was raised in these streets
Where either we moving keys, shooting threes or you weak
Sometimes I think how long I been doing music
Back when I couldn't get a beat CD from any producer
It makes me think about why I'm still doing it
Sometimes it's for the children, they the future, other times it's for the loot
I know you looking at me wishing that you had my job
Thinking "oh it can't be that hard"
To put words together and more words that rhymes like those
But sometimes at 5 o clock I wish I could go home
You lucky
Well not lucky, but your life has simplicity, mine doesn't and I'm so contradictory
One day I wanna help, give to charities, spread out the wealth
Next day I wanna make it, spend it all on myself

Sometimes I don't wanna be alone then
Sometimes I wanna be on my own and
Sometimes I wanna have me a drink
Sometimes I wanna smoke and just sit there and think about what?
My life, knowing I'm a die, don't know when, don't know why
No I can't change, no I can't cry
But I sit and analyze a lotta things through my mind sometimes

I think about my people's division
Vicelords, gangsta disciples, bloodin' and crippin'
And would we be trippin' on gettin' ice
If we was still out fighting for civil rights?
Sometimes I'm up at night, thinking bout my career
I wonder will I make it this year
Sometimes I wish the label wasn't so scared
Of making something like this a single, but in the club this ain't what I wanna hear
Sometimes I wanna be like Mos Def & Kweli
Another verse I'll sound like M.O.P.
God listen to me
Does poppin' at people that's hating on me
Mean eventually it's meant that the devil is waitin' on me huh?
There's days I'm quoting biblical scriptures
Other days I walk around toting militant pistols
I spot a happy couple thinking oooh I want a commitment
But then I see a fat ass and think I want someone different
Sometimes I want a ho
Sometimes I like to trick
Sometimes I want a woman
Sometimes I want a bitch
Sometimes I want somebody I can really kick it with
Other times I want a girl that won't say shit
I really wanna bless you with knowledge
You wanna vote? I want to break down the electoral college
But who the hell cares, I'll just tell you some garbage 
Bust guns, stack ones, sell drugs
Hit the club, that'll get you much farther you know

Sometimes I don't wanna be alone then
Sometimes I wanna be on my own and
Sometimes I wanna have me a drink
Sometimes I wanna smoke and just sit there and think about what?
My life, knowing I'm a die, don't know when, don't know why
No I can't change, no I can't cry
But I sit and analyze a lotta things through my mind sometimes

Sometimes I wanna be so famous I can't go to the mall
Sometimes I don't wanna be noticed at all
I wanna fall so deep in love I forget other broads
But then I get a phone call from a shortie with no drawers
Sometimes I want a smart girl with a nice brain
Other times I just want some nice brain
Or a light rain then a bright sun
Sometimes I wanna have a daughter or a bright son
It don't matter, sometimes I want a Benz or maybe a Cadillac
Sometimes I wanna turn back time and bring Daddy back
Sometimes I want a real estate, stocks and property
Other times I'm on sone nigga shit, chains and watches
Pieces and bracelets, half my budget on coloured diamonds
With the transparent setting I told you I'm sometimey
Sometimes it's Benihana's
Sometimes it's Wendy's, McDonalds
Sometimes I'm making you dance
Other times I tell you my problems
Sometimes I feel up
Sometimes I feel down
Some days I feel like I still wanna get around
Sometimes I wanna be mainstream
Other days I'm underground
Wanna be on the big screen
Next day don't wanna be found
Some days I don't wanna wake up
Some nights I can't go to sleep
At times I wanna be myself
Other days I don't wanna be me"

That verse summed how I was feeling perfectly. Sometimes I wanted a relationship, be close to someone, other days I didn't. I would look at couples and get jealous, other days I would be happy I was single. Sometimes I felt on top of the world, sometimes I would stay in bed for a whole weekend and gorge on takeaways.
That track felt like he was talking to me personally, like it was ok and it was perfectly normal to feel "sometimey!"
Since becoming a Christian, and being delivered from the darkness, I don't have those worries. I literally give everything to GOD. I thank GOD for the peace that I now have in my heart.

Philippians 4:6 in the NKJV says

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to GOD. Amen to that.
There are certain things that I worry about and hold onto, but that is normal, I am still a work in progress and I am only human but definitely don't worry as much as I used to and I have GOD to thank for that.